why should i stay here?

being here, was unpredictable...
i just finished my study of design and art, then this opportunity is coming within it.
it was so precious moment, i'd ever feel.

all of my dreams are come true in the same time,
i got my cumlaude in my bachelor degree,
not just that, i was choosen to be project manager on my cases of cancer cervical campaign. it was so delightful....
my rector give unbelieveable support and motivation.
she was best teacher, best university mom, and best motivator for me.

the second dream that come true, is i got my boyfriend.
but its so silly, cause i never think that i will get in just 1 week.
i was so difficult to get, i'm so hard to known, and dont like socialism.
but he was so kind, funny, romantic, protective.. and love me just the way i am.
i never know that he is a doctor, until he up to accompanny me to get surgery.

the biggest dream ever, is i got my scholarship, overseas scholarship and its FRee
for 4 years later. i got my school, got my dorm, got my money of daily life.
i remember the first time i heard this news from my dad, i cant believe that i can get this scholarship. i heard, it was hard to get.
i'm so exciting and very glad. blend with my worried.
i dreamed about a new life, new friend, new experience... it was so fun.

everything blend in my purpose,
i got my job as freelancer in some company, and got more respect.
i was help as illustrator and contribute at little magazine too..
its remembering me of some experience as broadcaster of dharma.
yet, helping, for design of stuff that sold at many religion places.

i love to be loved, i get whatever i want,
lot of people knows me, some of them amazed of me.
everybody loves me, i have a good friend, best family and lovely boyfriend...

it was perfect, isnt it??




then i stuck, in my dream.
now i wondering, why should i stay here? i got homesick. (after 6 months struggle to live)
i love my mom and dad, and always want to be their side.
i love my brother, sister, family, friend.. and also my boyfriend.
but here,....
i feeling lonely.
what i dreamed before, arent same with what i have here.
its so different.

i cant back to my hometown too.. because theres nothing to do.
i'm unemployment... and dont have any focus of future.
i just feel want to go back, return my old life. spin back my life.
this is what i called "the point of no return"
i wish i can go back....

miss you mom, dad, bro, sis, honey...